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Be a “Public Speaker” or Be Yourself!

Lily Iatridis — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 15:05:56 +0000

So many people feel that they have to put on a different persona when they're a "public speaker." They have to ac t more gregarious, more out there, more polished, more professional, more perfect. As a result, they become more fake. They're not being themselves at all, and their audiences feel it.

What defines "public speaker?" It's simply a person that presents orally to a group. They don't have to have any particular level of charisma or beauty. They simply need to use their voice to communicate clearly.

Some people feel that when they're the public speaker, they have to become something or someone that they're not. As a "public speaker," yes, you do have to extend your energy and be more focused upon the people around you. But losing or burying your unique self in the process causes will also make you less interesting to your audience. As a public speaker, you'll lose your personality and try to present in a way that's not natural to you. Therefore, your delivery will be awkward.

Forget about trying to adopt a "larger than life" persona. When taking the stage, be the most of who you are. That whole "larger than life" perception of you will eventually take care of itself.

Here's another martial arts/ aikido metaphor. I'm an extremely short person. If I try to reach up to make contact with my training partner, I get off balance. I lose my center, and I can't execute the technique effectively. That was a habitual response I did without thinking for years, and I still catch myself doing it sometimes. I've been training since 1993!

Instead, what really works is to use your unique trait to your advantage. As a short person, my center is lower than almost everyone else's. If I can bring an training partner down to my height– and there are many ways to do so– I easily have full control of their body movement. They're scrambling to get their feet back underneath their bodies while I execute technique effortlessly.

It's the same when you're the public speaker. When Woody Allen took the stage, did he try to act like John Wayne? No, he was neurotic, clever, and funny, and he was a brilliant success. He made the most of his unique self in his characters on stage and in film.

Find the unique characteristics that define you, that your friends love you for, that set you apart from the rest of the crowd. Don't hide them when you're the public speaker. Instead, put them out there for everyone to see, and see what happens!

Lily Iatridis of Fearless Delivery, has a proven track record and knows the key elements in effective and engaging presentation. Her expertise is in supporting professionals to get their message expressed clearly to deliver the biggest results in their live and online presentations. Secrets and strategies such as "how-to" shortcuts, personalized instruction and even packaging the presentation are just some of the skill sets that Lily brings to her audience to create a fearless and effective delivery.

If you've ever been nervous in front of an audience, please download Lily's free ebook, "5 Steps to Neutralize Difficult Audience Members– Without A Power Struggle!" In this ebook, Lily shares simple strategies that will put your mind at ease, arm you with useful strategies, and entertain you with some stories of her own bumps along the path to public speaking success.

Shorten Your Speech in a Pinch?! Aargh!

Lily Iatridis — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:00:10 +0000

We've all been there. You've prepared a 45-minute presentation, and you're ready to go. Then, before you get up to present, there's a change in schedule, and your host, boss, or whomever suddenly tells you that you only have 20 minutes to deliver your speech!

What do you do?! How do you edit your entire presentation in one minute or less and still make maximum impact?

10 Things to Do if You Have to Shorten Your Speech Drastically on the Spot:

1) Take a deep breath. Calm yourself. Pretend that your fine with it.

2) Throw out your Powerpoint. As we say in New Jersey, just "fahgeddaboutit!"

3) Make a no-frills opening. Introduce yourself, and make your purpose or thesis statement immediately. Drop any interesting lead-ins.

4) Focus the content on the one or two points that make the crux of your talk. In other words, what main points are vital to making an effective and relevant call to action? Focus on introducing those. Use one example for each to illustrate and better explain each main point. Forget the longer explanations and illustrative details.

5) Include only one really great story.

6) Rely more heavily on vocal variety and body language to engage and grab your audience's attention.

7) Create a sense of urgency with the tone of your voice. You don't have a lot of time, but what you have to say is important.

Ask the audience to hold questions until the end of the presentation. For a smaller group, take one question only after each main point is communicated, and ask everyone else to hold theirs.

9) Keep your call to action as is.

10) Tell the audience how to get in touch with you for more information on your message.

Any questions or comments on adusting your speech delivery? Fire away!

Do You Have the Motivation to Pursue Speaking to Groups?

Lily Iatridis — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 13:10:48 +0000

Yes, speaking to groups is important to market and promote your business, your reputation, and your message. As we all know, many people fear this. But once the decision's been made to make public speaking part of your permanent "marketing pie" how do you keep your motivation to pursue in the long term? What if you've been doing it for a while, and you still feel apprehension, fear, and other negative emotion before every presentation?

PJ McClure, The MIndset Maven, has some excellent things to say about motivation, why it doesn't last, and how to change that.

When we first get motivated, it's usually from an external source. We hear a mesmerizing motivational speaker, read their book, or go to their live event. We leave charged up to go and do exactly what they suggest. Then, we get home, go to our office early the next week, and feel deflated. We don't know where to start. We let it go.

How many times has this happened to you? For me, plenty.

Here's the trick, per PJ: Motivation received from an external source NEVER lasts long. External motivation must be made INTERNAL for that to happen. Again, if we don't internalize our motivation, we won't be able to sustain it.

So how do we do that?

1) Identify the emotion you felt when the external source really motivated you. Write it down! What did you feel at that moment?

2) Examine what you felt more closely. Do you truly believe that you can do it? Why or why not? Hint: You have to have the belief in your ability to achieve the goal in order to make the motivation internal and recurring. If you don't truly have that belief, you won't be able to internalize the motivation.

So, if you're having a hard time finding motivation around speaking to groups, then you'll have to take a look inside. Figure out where you need to change your mindset to make speaking to groups easy and fun.

That's the end goal: to let your speech flow seamlessly, and have a great time delivering.

To review a video clip on PJ McClure's thoughts on motivation, please click here.

PJ McClure is the world's foremost authority on the role of mindset in personal and business success. He's one of the most sought after performance coaches today and has transformed the lives of thousands of entrepreneurs. Click here to download his 10 FREE videos "Build Your Personal Foundation" right here http://themindsetmaven.com/arc.

Why I’ve Had Major Misadventures at Recent Speaking Gigs

Lily Iatridis — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 12:02:14 +0000

Lately, I've had some major problem at public speaking gigs I've been giving. Now that giving presentations to groups about my business is routine, I've come to realize that I'm getting into some bad habits. They're hurting my business goals, so I've got to change them. If you are starting to speak regularly to groups

Here are a few:

1. Being increasingly annoyed at the time it takes to travel to a speaking engagement. Living in a major metropolitan area like NYC with its various islands and required bridge crossings, a 25 mile drive can take up to 3 hours each way. Is the opportunity to speak to a networking group or association meeting worth the effort and expense? Other folks living in less populated areas will also need to travel to speak as they cast a wider net

The obvious answer is a resounding "Yes!" Each speaking engagement builds your list, and can result in new clients every time if you deliver a strong talk well. But it is harder to connect and perform effectively if you're feeling irritated and and preoccupied internally.

Solution: buy some cds for a business course or book you're studying right now. In addition to your presentation materials, bring plenty to keep you productively occupied to and from the speaking gig. It may mean carrying an extra bag, but it's well worth it.

2. Cutting arrival time closer and closer to the starting point. This is a big no-no, which can result in being late if something unexpected happens. I have a confession to make. It happened to me last week. Oddly enough, even though my blood pressure was skyrocketing, I still got a couple of clients from the event. But there was a price. The organizers were clearly angry, and I'd be surprised if this group invited me back again.

Solution: Putting in an hour of a time cushion, and giving an extremely conservative estimate of the time it will take to reach your public speaking engagement. Be disciplined about this!

3. Barely practicing the presentation. Maybe you can get away with this, but unless you're giving the same talk several times a day or week, not practicing at all could hinder you from giving it your best.

Solution: Stick to running through your speech three times from start to finish, especially if it's under 30 minutes. The shorter the presentation, the more succinct it needs to be to communicate your message within the allotted time.

Getting bored with your signature talk? You may want to change your speech around for your own interest, but consider this. Is it an effective speech? Is it boring your audience? Are you still making the best impact you can with your current structure? If objective answer to the latter three questions is yes, then keep your speech intact.

Solution: Come up with a creative alternative to challenge yourself during your future speaking gigs. A former client who had to do repeat the same corporate presentation to different vendors for days on end came up with this one: have someone choose an odd word to incorporate into the presentation while still sounding natural. My favorite? Sasparilla!

Ultimately, your goal is to arrive at your public speaking gigs a little early, feeling positive with a calm mind, and ready to give your best, not just in appearance, but from within yourself.

Public Speaking & Stand Up: Why Are They Doing This to Themselves?

Lily Iatridis — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 13:19:16 +0000

Stand up comedy is one of the toughest forms of public speaking. The content is usually very personal, and it relies on the successful execution of humor. If either or both aren't well received, the results can be pretty emotionally crushing for the performer.

Last Friday night, my husband and I met a couple of friends downtown in the West Village for drinks and dinner. Finally, a night out in NYC! After dinner an we got corralled into a the dark, dank basement of another nearby restaurant that was being used for stand up comedy performances.

Truthfully, when it comes to speaking onstage, I don't generally go to see stand up comedy, because I usually feel sorry for the performers. I hate listening to what seems to be people onstage telling the audience how terrible their lives are while desperately seeking the audience's approval. (Chris Rock is an exception.) One friend and I agreed to laugh like crazy at all of their jokes so that the comedians would feel more confident and start being funnier.

As a public speaking coach, I always advocate taking command of the audience. The speaker leads the audience, not the other way around. Watching these poor young men and women repeatedly take the stage and giving up their power made me cringe internally.

Why were these poor comedians doing this to themselves?! I had to go to my online friend Adam Lawrence, a stand up comedian based in Germany, for answers. Here's what he had to say:

"One of the most direct metaphors for stand-up comedy is the firing
squad. It's an obvious comparison – the comic traditionally stands
against a (brick) wall, has only a microphone to hide behind, and
cannot see the audience. They have the power to lift him to new
heights, but also to shoot him down on the spot."

So why do we do it? It's partly the buzz of risk. Stand-up is the
most risky stagework I do. It's my material, written by me, rehearsed
by me, remembered by me, delivered by me. (Big stars have directors,
but most of us don't). If I fail, the failure is all mine.
Conversely, if they love me, it's only, purely, solely me they love.
We don't need to go too deep into clown psychology to see how that
feels good to lots of stage folks."

I think we saw about 5 different routines before it was time to head home to relieve our sitter. They were all the same, except for one. There was only one stand-up in over an hour of performances who gave a distinctly different speaking performance from the others:

He didn't care what anybody thought of him.
He was confident. If we didn't laugh, he shrugged it off.
He was self-effacing, but he didn't feel sorry for himself.

Therefore, when he led, the audience followed. He took extended his energy and took over the room.

Trust me, your audience wants to like and respect you. They want to be positively impacted or entertained. Your audience wants to feel comfortable with you. Please, for everyone out there willing to take the emotional risk of stand up and experience the highs, please make sure you're confident with who you are before you take the stage.

Adam Lawrence is an experience designer, a comedian and a businessman. He's a trainer, an actor, a singer, a stand-up, and a consultant who works all over the world on stage and in top businesses. He's an Englishman, but you'll usually find him in Germany or the Caribbean. He looks for the theatrical in everything! Please visit www.workplayexperience.blogspot.com to learn more about Adam and the many facets of his work.

Public Speaking, Sixty Seconds and The Influencer Project

Lily Iatridis — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:32:03 +0000

When you only have a minute for public speaking, every sentence counts, especially the first one.

I must admit that I am a little bit behind the curve on my online current events. I have only just realized the importance of reading certain ezines daily like I do the New York Times.

Yes, The Influencer Project event took place over a month ago. Nevertheless, I think a quick analysis and overview of the sixty 60-second interviews on influence is worthwhile for anybody who is asked to give a 60-second statement. While all of the speakers gave great advice, some of them discreetly marketed themselves brilliantly with their public speaking, while others did not.

First of all, it's an interesting structure. Sixty very successful businesspeople give one-minute tips on how to best influence others. I love the fact that this wasn't a "telesummit" where you end up with 12 hours of recordings to slog through to get the main points. Instead you get 60 people's advice in only an hour, and if you download the free transcript, it only takes 15-20 minutes to skim through. Love it!

I got some great new tips and reinforcement of ideas I've heard from others in the past on influence, including:

Figure out ways to get people talking
Deliver value always
Increase the size of your buttons
Transparency
Consistency
Know where you're going
Follow better people (not clear what was meant by "better," but I took a guess)
Don't be afraid to repeat your tweets.

While all sixty interviewees included valuable content in their 60 seconds of public speaking, not all of them introduced the primary benefit of their work very clearly, or what their work even was. I would have had to open up a new page and look up many of the speakers on the internet to find out this information.

I realize that the Influencer Project isn't at all about giving business leaders an opportunity to market themselves. However, it is to everyone's benefit to know what these successful businesspeople deliver. When I download these types of things, I am looking for content, but I'm also always looking for resources in certain areas of expertise. When public speaking about your business, it's always important to introduce your work clearly.

Nevertheless, I felt a few of them gave a brilliant one sentence introduction that explained all within 10 seconds. Their statement included their name, exactly how they help others, and their contact information.

Here's an example of one of the best opening statements, by Michael Port. It went like this:

"Hi. This is Michael Port of MichaelPort.com, and I'm the author of Book Yourself Solid." I think that took me less than 5 seconds to say aloud.

In one simple sentence, I know that if I want to book myself solid, all I have to do is go to Michael Port's site or Amazon and buy his book. I'll bet he's very good speaker, as well as teaching me how to book myself solid. I'm going to listen in the next time I hear he's giving a talk somewhere.

Can you do the same with your business? Ok, here's mine:

"Hi. This is Lily Iatridis of FearlessDelivery.com. I teach people how to speak in public fearlessly."

How about you?

Public Speaking Snafu?: Land Safely and Recover Quickly

Lily Iatridis — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 15:56:01 +0000

What happens when you're public speaking and something doesnt' work?

Perhaps a joke you make falls completely flat. Maybe the directions to a group activity are unclear to your audience. Or worse, they simply have no comprehension of a key concept that you feel absolutely sure you've delivered with extreme clarity.

What are you going to do? How do you recover? Is your public speaking presentation a complete failure?

In aikido, the martial art I've studied for a long time, we get thrown around a lot. It's called taking ukemi, also known as the art of falling. As a matter of fact, according to my instructors, you can't really understand or do well at aikido unless you learn how to take great ukemi.

Here's a quick video clip of an agile young man who's clearly having serious fun falling. If that was a little mind-boggling, this clip of an instructor in Myanmar breaks the movement down into smaller, understandable pieces.

Ukemi is about landing safely when you take a hit or fail to take control of your partner. You land safely, are back on your feet in seconds, and ready for whatever comes next. What you're also doing while you're taking the fall is looking for the next opportunity to regain control of the situation.

Here are some suggestions on how to "take ukemi" when something doesn't go well during your presentation:

1) Take the fall. Set ego aside and be honest with yourself. If something's not working and you're the presenter, you're responsible to your audience. Don't waste a moment assigning blame. Correct someone on your team later if necessary and/or beneficial.

2) Have a sense of humor. In other words, admit to yourself and your group that something's not working. The ability to laugh at yourself is huge to relationship building and always an excellent tension breaker. The audience doesn't like watching you onstage looking embarrassed or humiliated. It makes them uncomfortable! That's not to your benefit as presenter.

On the other hand, don't get angry with your audienc. I've seen that happen, and that will kill your relationship with your audience immediately. If you're frustrated with them, don't ever show it. Find something that works for them, even if it means that you only deliver half of the content you'd originally intended for your presentation.

3) Diagnose the problem and correct quickly. If it's a key concept that your audience must understand in order to proceed, take some time to question them and figure out why. Usually a strong strong solution is to break down the concept into smaller, simpler steps, like the instructor in the Myanmar video clip above did so well. If your presentation is well-researched and well-prepared, then key concept issues shouldn't occur.

If it's an activity that's not working, and it's important that they practice, then have an easy backup prepared. If the lack of understanding/ misstep is about something that's not crucial to the presentation, skip it and move on.

4) Accept audience feedback. I wouldn't suggest spending much time during your presentation getting into a big discussion with your audience on why something didn't work. However, I would take suggestions for improvement– perhaps one at the time of delivery and others as requested feedback after the presentation.

This can be hard to swallow if you're The Expert onstage. Nevertheless, people do have a way of having useful insights that may not have occurred to you. Those can be invaluable in helping you to craft your message to better suit your listeners.

Reduce Public Speaking Fear? Try Martial Arts Principles

Lily Iatridis — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 16:15:20 +0000

My mentor has been really bugging me to incorporate my martial arts background into helping people overcome their public speaking fear. So I'm doing what any loyal student does with a sensei's instruction. Follow it.

In my 17 years as a student of aikido, I've had a great deal of experience with mastering fear. I consider this to be especially true in my case. I'm 5'1" in height, and have weighed around 115-125 lbs., while my training partners have usually been an average of a foot taller and 80 lbs. heavier than I. Most of my partners were decent people, meaning that they tried not to hurt me intentionally. But there was always one or two large individuals who didn't care at all about protecting their training partner, even someone significantly smaller with "twig arms" like mine.

The latter few scared me a lot, but I couldn't avoid working with them unless I quit altogether. Give up on something I loved? Never! If you've made the decision to pursue a goal or passion that required speaking to groups, will you let your public speaking fear stop you?

Here's a secret: the fear never goes away completely, which isn't a bad thing. Fear can serve you. A degree of fear will keep you very sharp. Often when we're overconfident, we get sloppy. This can happen if you hang around in your comfort zone too much of the time.

But if your public speaking fear is paralyzing you — causing you to feel like you're going to collapse, vomit, etc., here are some strategies for rapid fear reduction. These have helped me get it under control fast over the years.

1) Take a deep breath. Take several deep breaths. This will calm you down.

2) Ground yourself physically. While taking that deep breath, find a place in your lower abdomen, tuck it in become aware of that centerpoint in your body. Feel both of your feet firmly on the ground beneath you. Keep the rest of your body loose.

3) In your mind, picture the desired end of your presentation. Imagine how you'll feel upon successful completion.

4) Remember your message. Remember why you're there. This will make you look past your fear instead of staying wrapped up within it.

5) Then, just MOVE! Get up and start delivering your presentation.

Steps 1-4 can be completed in about two seconds. Better yet, go through them as you're driving to work. If you practice in advance, you'll be able to complete them in a split second. Not only that, but this is a much more productive way to direct your thoughts if you are struggling fiercely with public speaking fears.

Of course, when speaking in public, all of the above will work much better if you're also well prepared for your speech delivery. You should have a strong presentation ready, and you should have practiced thoroughly.

Here's another little secret: These techniques can work with whatever fearful situation you're facing, whether it's skydiving, flying on an airplane, or riding an elevator.

Try them out! Let me know what happens.

Public Speaking Fear? Find Your Center

Lily Iatridis — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 16:22:34 +0000

For many, fear of public speaking boils down to a fear of what others think of you. It's is essentially a fear of rejection, but in the case of public speaking, the fear of rejection is intensified because you're taking a bigger risk. You're risking rejection in front of a group of people. If things go bad, it feels like they go bad in a very big way.

Here's one truth: if you truly believe in yourself and your message, then it doesn't matter what other people think.

Here's another truth: most people are wrapped up in their own thoughts, fears, and miscellaneous inner chatter, so they're not focused on judging you.

When I first started classroom teaching about 15 year ago, my students raked me over the coals. I was petite, soft-spoken, gentle-natured, and came from an upper middle-class background. I had to replace a popular teacher mid-year at a high school in a "rough" community.

Let's just say the kids weren't happy about my being there, and they gave me a very hard time every day. If I got angry or upset, they laughed at me or tried to intimidate me. My first six months as a teacher were very tough. I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning, and I seriously considered abandoning my chosen career path. My department head used to hang around in the office adjacent to my room because I think he feared for my physical safety. Let's just put it this way- the metal detectors didn't catch everything.

Somehow, I made it through the year. I didn't call in sick. I faced the same students all day, every day. I still tried to deliver my lessons, I graded their papers and fulfilled my responsibilities. I wouldn't call the experience a positive one, but I made it to the finish line.

I was still new to both martial arts study and teaching. But as I developed my skills over the next couple of years, I saw how I had made things worse for myself during those first six months.

I let myself fall into too many power struggles. I was reactive instead of proactive.

I had no sense of center whatsoever.

So what is this "center" thing I'm talking about? It's a place of inner calm, or mental and emotional balance. Your mind is quiet. Your actions aren't in conflict with your words or thoughts. They're all working in unison. Physically, your center point is an area in your lower abdomen.

Can you tell when you're feeling centered? That's the ideal way to be when you're speaking in public. Remember, if you truly believe in yourself and your message, then it doesn't matter what other people think.

You want to go into a public speaking engagement feeling completely centered. Take a deep breath, do a brief visualization, and focus on your message of service.

Do you stay that way during your entire presentation? Of course not! That's unrealistic. The reality is that we get off-balance or off-center multiple times during a presentation, just as we do during a normal day. Experts simply regain their center faster than others.

When you're public speaking and find that you're losing your calm, take a breath or a sip of water to quiet your mind and get back to a place of center as quickly as you can. (If you're feeling under fire by your audience, please review Tuesday's article.) The more you practice this, the faster you'll recover.

Public speaking audience struggles? Try this technique…

Lily Iatridis — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 12:18:43 +0000

This morning I saw an article by Nick Morgan on Forbes.com on how to use judo technique to win a negotiation. Funny he mentioned judo, because I just had a conversation with someone who suggested I teach aikido techniques to public speakers, since I think about aikido constantly anyway.

In any case, the judo technique Nick Morgan described was one that the aikido world calls Irimi. When you and an opponent are facing off against one another, an irimi is a side step in to stand next to your opponent, ever so slightly behind them, and face the same direction as they are. The first thing this movement does is diminish tension. It also positions you to take control of your opponent's center. When you then execute a technique, you control the entire physical interaction. They have to move in the direction you wish to take them, wherever that may be.

So, let's translate this into facing a difficult audience. If you've read my free report, one of the tips I give about handling a difficult audience is using proximity or in other words, doing an irimi technique.

The key to taking control and continuing to lead your group is not to pull away with fear when a is a problem occurs or dive into a confrontational power struggle. If you pull away from their negative energy instead of diffusing it, the negativity will become stronger. The relationship between you and your audience or that one particular audience member will become a tug-of- war. That serves no one. You don't deliver your message, and your audience doesn't receive it. You've got to get them back into a receptive mode.

Instead, get closer. Move in with neutral energy. Look at things from their perspective. Acknowledge their point of view. If you need to verbally redirect them to quiet down or bring their attention back to you, do so without aggression. Pretend you're Ben Kingsley playing "Gandhi." Be like water, not stone.

As soon as you have their attention, so take them where you want them to go, decisively, and without hesitation. In other words, move to the next point in your presentation immediately.

Remember:

1) Don't take it personally.

2) Don't respond with anger.

3) Never humiliate anyone.

4) Embrace their perspective, then redirect toward your presentation.